The Blank Page

The blank page. It taunts me. Like a two faced friend, it repeatedly stabs me in the back.
Can't move. Can't breathe. Can't think.
Where did all my words go?
My creativity has eluded me.
I miss the dreamer I used to be. Miss her so much I wanna scream.
I miss how easy life came to me.
Actually no... it wasn't easy. Just easier than what I have now, which is nothing.

Back in the younger years, I'd cry myself to sleep from the injustice of my father and the woes of not being with the guy I loved. Now I cannot cry at all. No tears escape my blue-gray eyes. Why? I feel nothing anymore.
Sure, there's love in my heart for my family and friends and joy in my head when something good happens... but honestly? Something inside me has changed. I'm cold and calculating. The world isn't bright with wonder anymore. Is this what it means to grow up?

I miss him tonight.
It's especially nights like that that I think of him.
The girl I was with him is the girl I miss. Carefree. Loved. Bright.
But she was WEAK.

My strength is what brought me to this. No longer do I depend on the strength of others to build myself up. I am my own worst enemy and my own best judge. Independence. It's a bitch. It's also a friend. The very same friend that stabs me in the back; The blank page.

FUCK WRITERS BLOCK.

Why can't I write my book anymore? I'm so angry.

Working Hard!

Hey guys!
I know, I know... this is where I apologize and say, "Sorry it's been so long!"
But you know what? NO!
I'm not apologizing, so HA!
I have this song stuck in my head. Literally... I'm listening to it on repeat on my headphones :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ht5MXDMkkc&feature=relmfu

It's by Katherine McPhee. From the new show, "Smash" it's pretty catchy!
I feel like dancing~

Lately I've been working like crazy. It's good, cus I really like my job.
But I find myself feeling tired all the time. I hate that feeling.
I wish I had endless energy! I could do stuff all the time!!!
That's the dream, though, isn't it? Everyone wishes they could do as much as possible with their life.
Anyways, until next time, here's a silly pic from work to tide you over!

Vampire or Werewolf?

When happens when Edward leaves and Jacob flees?
Bella is left alone, with no choice to make between two "amazing" boys.

And guess what? She's free!

This is a "Twilight Saga" reference, by the way.
I was re-watching the movies and realized what an awful story it is if you look too deep into it.
Edward is controlling and somewhat emotionally abusive.
And Jacob can never really have what he wants... always second best but still obsessed.

It's kinda similar to a couple guys I used to like.
I liked the both at the same time but my decision skills were lacking so far along it gave me time to see how pathetic and wrong both guys were for me.
:P

Where the hell have I been?

Ah, life!
It takes crazy twists and turns!
I haven't written here in forever...
It's been too long!

Now I'm a shnazzy Starbucks Barista.
I've made good friends and my hours are getting better.
My boss is awesome. And there's really not a lot of drama.
Except with my evil twin.
But... we won't get into that just now.

All you need to know is that life is soooo good.
I'm happy :)

I'll write more later when I have the time.
Right now I need to get to bed!
It's almost 11pm and I have to get up at 6am to open up shop :P

Goodnight.