Dear Adam,

My thoughts have been so jumbled lately. I can't even seem to get down the words.
Like I told you, I started writing a letter to you a week or so ago. I re-read it and decided to start over. Since you're one of the only people who actually read my blog, I wanted to take your advice and write your letter here.

When I first met you, I could tell you were a genuine person. You have never changed to me in that aspect. Through everything I've gona through in my life, somehow you've ALWAYS had the right words for me.

You mentioned in one of our last meetings that you felt like my father, in the terms that you saw me making some decisions you weren't sure would benefit me and no matter what you aid, I still made those decisions. It's true. I've been quite the mischievious daughter to you, haven't I? Always agreeing with what you say but doing what I want anyways lol.
I always wanted to tell you what was happening in my life and make you proud. I'm not sure when our friendship became this way. I guess it's pretty amazing that you can choose your family sometimes, right? And you definitely are like a 2nd father to me in some aspects.

You're one of my best friends. I'm so blessed that you're in my life. I'm so sorry I haven't shown it like I wanted to. And trust me, I DID want to. But I have never really known how. I noticed a lot of our conversations were about me and my life, when it should have been equal.

You've extended your hand to me without fail every time I've asked for it. You've been here for me through all the Fisher drama, all my family drama, all my loss and gain... I had to grow up so young but never was I treated like an adult or equal until you walked into my life. You're an amazing teacher and a wonderful friend. I am SO proud of you and what you've accomplished for your life and what you're about to do. Rebuilding your life somewhere new is hard. But I know you'll flourish wherever life takes you.

I want you to know I'm here for you no matter how much distance seperates us. If we have to, we'll have our lunch dates over Skype lol.

I'm gonna miss you more than words can convey.

Saying goodbye to you the other day was so hard. Like I said, I feel like a lot of the people who helped me get through the last 3 years are slowly slipping away from me. Loss has been the constant topic of my life. I'm sick of it, but I know there's a reason for everything. God would never give me more than I can handle, right? :)

I kinda feel like I won't see you again. Mainly because of how far away you're moving and the fact that I know you're not as close to me as I am to you, if that makes sense.

I want you to be happy above everything else. And I feel like this will make you so happy. In turn, that makes me so pleased and excited for you.

Thank you so much for the honor of being my friend. I truly love you Mister Bottle lol.

<3Love

Megan

Shitty Co-Workers

Why the hell is it so fun to taunt me and make me feel like shit?

People really make me upset sometimes.
There's this one co-worker I have who makes it her life mission to make digs at me and make me feel worthless. She and I started the same day and she thinks she's boss of me or something.

She always glares in my direction, making sure I'm actually working. Cus you know, it's sooooo easy pretending to do something when nothing comes from your false productivity. If I was really screwing off, someone(my manager) would have noticed by now and THEY would be the one keeping an eye on me. And yet... there she is... glaring away.

Really woman? You're gonna sit here and make a dig about how I don't clean the floors properly? When I'm the ONLY one who gets the job done and does the whole floor by myself??? NO!

I know what you're thinking by now: Why the heck is this chick ranting online when she should be talking to her mangaer?

I did. She didn't care.

So what do I do? Sit and deal with the constant harrassment? Apparently...

Vacation

So for the fisrt time, I get a vacation from my work place :D

My best friend Luis & I are driving up to Seattle to meet my best friend, Sarah, to bring her back down here to Portland for 5 days :)

This is the second time in 8 years I've gotten to see her. I'm super pumped xD

This will be her first time to Portland since she moved away to Canada eight years ago. It's crazy to think she'll be here in like a week.

If anyone wants to chill with us while we got to Saturday Market or Powells Book Store or anything like that while she's here, just let me know. My vacation is from the 24th-28th so, we're getting her the 24th and taking her back the 28th :)

Good night :P

Clubbin' ;D

So tonight the cousins and I are going to a club downtown.
It's called FX and it's an 18 and over place. Katie and Kelcie aren't 21 yet so we can't go to any totally awesome places but hey, that's ok =]

Life has been really crazy lately.
When is it not though? lol.
I sometimes wonder why the hell I go through half the shit I do.

I feel lonely a lot of the time.
I have no idea why. I don't feel the need to like, BE with people constantly but I often feel alone in a crowded room. You know, that whole dramatic nutshell. I feel like I should have gone through this phase wayyyy earlier in life. Maybe I did? I don't know.

I just... had to grow up young and take on sooo much responsibility so soon. It makes me wish I was a teenager again.
I wish I could work low hours and live with my parents so I could go to school.
You know, like NORMAL people my age.
But no... life is hard and I have to roll with the punches.
Sometimes I really resentful but mostly I'm EXTREMELY grateful or what I have.

My life could be way worse and I'm lucky to be in such good circumstances.

I'm having lunch with Adam on Thursday.
I feel like he always has the words to make me better :)

Anyways, I need to go hit up the town ;)

Have a good night <3

Good Afternoon

Why is it only night time when inspiration hits me?
No clue, but today I decided to break the mold and write before work :D

A lot of stuff has been happening lately.
Work took a very dramatic turn, but the beauty of it is that I dealt with my business and now things are way better :)

It's the beginning of the month, though, and that means everyone is out shopping.
Seriously... why can't they space it out? DAMN!
There's been sooooo many people shopping this weekend, it's hard to keep up with anything.
Yesterday I thawed out a bunch of backup seafood for the case today.
Honestly, I'm sometimes unsure of WHY I bother. It all ends up being gone by the time I get to work and the other guy I work with never really bothers to help me out by doing the same thing soooo... ugh.

I'm putting forth an effort, though. That should count, right?

I wanted to do VEDA this month. VEDA stands for, "Vlog Every Day of April" but I got lazy lol. So I'll do it in August instead!

If yo guys haven't figured it out yet, I have a youtube channel

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheMissMegan?feature=mhum

I also just made a channel with my friend Luis,

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheAwesomeEffectPDX

I would check those out if I were you ;D

This networking thing is harder than I thought. I used to be able to keep up with my facebook, twitter, myspace, dailybooth, youtube, blog, etc, without any hassle. But now that I work all the time, and have to be away from my laptop, it's getting harder. I wanna be able to keep up and show you guys I still care :)

So I think, to stay better connected, I might get an iPhone *GASP* I know, I know... I always wanted one but couldn't justify it. Now I can.

I'm gonna be doing some awesome things in the near future and wanna keep up with you guys about it!

So please make sure to follow me, add me, subscribe, whatever!

lovelovelove,

TheMissMegan

Out Of This World

"Out Of This World"

Bush

When we die
We go in to the arms of those
Who remember us
We are home now
Out of our heads
Out of our minds
Out of this world
We're out of this time

Are you drowning or waving?
I just want you to save me
Should we try to get along?
Just try to get along
So we move
We change by the speed of the choices that we make
And the barriers are all self-made
That's so retrograde

Are you drowning or waving?
I just need you to save me
Should we try to get along?
Just try to get along

I am alive
I'm awake to the trials of confusion we create
There were times I feel when we're about to break
When there's too much to say
We are home now
Out of our heads
Out of our minds
Out of this world
We're out of this time
We're out of this time
We're out of this time
We're out of this time

Contacts/Avril Lavigne && Rambling About Life

It's a qarter after four in the morning. I have an eye doctor appointment at noon to see if I can be fitted for contacts. Apparently, I will be given a 20 minute class on how to put them in and take them out lol. I'm actually pretty pumped :D
It'll be nice to have the option of whether or not I wanna wear them.

Onto other news, I bought Avril Lavigne's new album today. It's called, "Goodbye Lullaby"

It's a lot more deep than her other stuff, which I don't mind at all. But I do love classic Avril sooo... her single, "What The Hell" is my fav on the album.

My brother, Josh, and I wanted to take Hayden to the Zoo tomorrow but my appointment will probably last too long and the Zoo closes at 4pm. Lame... but oh well! We'll take her soon!

You know all those cliche people who say stuff like, "Oh my gosh, I'm never gonna find that one person for me"? I feel like that MOST of the time. I'm perfectly content being just me right now. Cus to be honest, I'm AWESOME! I love my life, however scattered it may be at the moment, and it pleases me that I'm able to cut through the B.S. and see through the fake people in my life. But I'm at the point where I feel like I want to move forward. I hate feeling stuck. I've always been too antsy to let life hold me back. But I have to admit it does feel nice to take a breather and stand still sometimes.

I'm almost 22 years old. Isn't that insane? My life has been rocky, at best, and I want it to sail smooth already.

This has been a lot of just rambling but... idk... what do you think?