Stranger

*sighs* I'm finally free :)



Nobody believes me when I tell them that you're out of your mind.
Nobody believes me when I tell them that there's so much you hide.
You treat me like a queen when we go out,
wanna show everyone what our love's about.
All wrapped up in me whenever there is a crowd,
But when no ones around;

There's no kindness in your eyes,
The way you look at me, it's just not right.
I can tell whats going on this time,
Theres a stranger in my life.
You're not the person that I once knew.
Are you scared to let them know it's you?
If they could only see you like I do,
Then they would see a stranger too..

Did I ever do anything that was this cruel to you?
Did I ever make you wonder who was standing in the room?
You made yourself look perfect in everyway,
So when this goes down, I'm the one that will be blamed.
Your plan is working so you can just walk away,
Baby your secret's safe.

There's no kindness in your eyes,
The way you look at me, it's just not right.
I can tell whats going on this time,
Theres a stranger in my life.
You're not the person that I once knew.
Are you scared to let them know it's you?
If they could only see you like I do,
Then they would see a stranger too..

Such a long way back, from this place we arrived.
When I think of all the time I've wasted, I could cry..

There's no kindness in your eyes,
The way you look at me, it's just not right.
I can tell whats going on this time,
Theres a stranger in my life.
You're not the person that I once knew.
Are you scared to let them know it's you?
If they could only see you like I do,
Then they would see a stranger too.

When thoughts become unbearable

I'm not lost, just wounded.
Like Bella says in New Moon, "I'm not just some car you can fix up... I'm never gonna run right..."
But there's hope for me being fixed :)

There have been lots of messed up things going through my head lately.
Maybe it's from all the movies I watch lol.
(I wonder what Adam would have to say about that xD)
Ahhhh pop culture, you feed my brain with all sorts of things Adam dislikes xD

Maybe this funk will go away if I just go read or write or something...

Only Girl

"Want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world." -Rihanna

Dear Adam,

Things are getting better :)

I can't wait to tell you about all the amazing things that have been happening the past few days :) We must have lunch again soon!

Song of the day:



Rest In Peace

Sung by, James Marsters

I died

So many years ago

But you can make me feel

Like it isn't so

And why you come to be with me

I think I finally know

mmm-mmm

You're scared

Ashamed of what you feel

And you can't tell the ones you love

You know they couldn't deal

Whisper in a dead man's ear

It doesn't make it real

That's great

But I don't wanna play

'Cause being with you touches me

More than I can say

And since I'm only dead to you

I'm saying stay away and

Let me rest in peace

Let me rest in peace

Let me get some sleep

Let me take my love and bury it

In a hole 6-foot deep

I can lay my body down

But I can't find my, sweet release

So let me rest in peace

You know,

You got a willing slave

And You just love to play the thought

That you might misbehave

But Till you do,

I'm telling you

Stop visiting my grave

Let me rest in peace

I know I should go

But I follow you like a man possessed

There's a traitor here beneath my breast

And it hurts me more than you've ever guessed

If my heart could beat, it would break my chest

but I can see you're unimpressed

So leave me be and

Let me rest in peace

Let me get some sleep

Let me take my love and bury it

Im a hole 6-foot deep

I can lay my body down

But I can't find my sweet release

Let me rest in peace

Why won't you

Let me rest in peace?

Adam Bottiglia

So since I'm pretty sure you're one of my only constant readers, I thought I'd dedicate this blog to you, Mr. Adam Bottiglia :D

Dear Adam,

You and I have been friends for a few years now and honestly, I have no clue where my sanity would be without you. It seems like whenever I'm in a bind with life or hard decisions, there you are, so willing to give me all the right answers. And a lot of the time I try to follow your advice best as I can. But some of the time, not so much... I kinda just ignore reason and create my own.

The talk you and I had during our lunch(and dessert) the other day put my entire situation into perspective. I'm scared to death to do what I feel I should cus there's so much I feel is left. I want to walk away and make my life my own but... I yearn for a certain someone to realize what they're losing and look at me the way they used to... the way they sometimes still do...

I feel crazy, wanting what I know may be impossible. But... I also don't wanna give up hope that this may be my final chance. Wow, this isn't making too much sense huh? After all, I was pretty decided the other day lol. It's a day to day struggle. On one hand, I feel like saying, "I can break free!" and on the other hand, I wanna say, "This is MY life and I choose to fight for what I want..."

You're right... I am the wild card. I wish I could give up but... idk if I can or if I even want to.

Love is irrational... & so am I sometimes.

I missed being able to talk with you. And I hate the thought of you leaving. But I'm so happy life is taking you where you want. I know you'll be wonderful.

I'll blog again another time...

Goodnight :)

Christina Perri

"Jar Of Hearts"

I know I can't take one more step towards you

‘Cause all that's waiting is regret

Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore

You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live, half alive

And now you want me one more time

[Chorus:]

Who do you think you are?

Runnin' 'round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

Tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

Don't come back for me

Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around

If I am anywhere to be found

But I have grown too strong

To ever fall back in your arms

I've learned to live, half alive

And now you want me one more time

[Chorus]

It took so long just to feel alright

Remember how to put back the light in my eyes

I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed

‘Cause you broke all your promises

And now you're back

You don't get to get me back

[Chorus x2]

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?