Before my dear friend, Adam, moved away, he said he wanted me to start going back to church.
I completely agreed with him. It's where I need to be.
But I've been having a hard time wanting to be there.
Some Christians refer to others as: "Pick and Choose Christians"
The meaning is self explanatory but for those of you who might not get it, here's kinda what it means: It's a Christian who picks and chooses what they want to believe and follow out of the Bible.
It's something I used to be against because you're supposed to follow God's word completely, are you not? This is where my life started getting tricky.
In the Bible, it says homosexuality is a sin worthy of death.
I'm not sure who all reads this blog, but here's one thing you need to know about me: One of my best friends, Luis, is gay.
I went to church before I met him. So at the time, I had everyone preaching to me how homosexuality is wrong. I agreed with them, to an extent. It's something I'm ashamed to admit. I was so blinded by the words that kept being pounded into my brain, I forgot to think for myself.
I am BY NO MEANS saying God's word is wrong. I love God more than anything and I'll follow him through my life.
But I absolutely REFUSE to think God would want ANYONE to kill someone for loving the same sex.
I have ever known more love from a friend than I do Luis. He is my rock. He's shown me true friendship, compassion, understanding, forgiveness and awesomeness. He is an amazingly beautiful person. How could his love be wrong?
Another reason I'm having a hard time wanting to go to church: The people I used to go to the same church with continuously judge me. Every time I run into one of them, there's no kindness or understanding of my life situation or the facts and reasons WHY I don't go anymore. All there is, is judgement. Proving once again WHY certain people give Christianity and religion a bad name.
My own Pastor would see me at my work, look me right in the eye, and TURN AWAY as if he hadn't seen me.
I know not all Christians are like that. It's a learning lesson for me.
It's been a rough road, full of twists and turns that somehow have led me true so far.
God is amazing. He has led me down this path for a reason. It's unclear why...
But Luis is in my life for a reason, too.
I think God wants me to go back to church. Probably not my last one. But one none the less. Not only to continue my life learning and growing in his image, but also educating others and letting them know God loves everyone and would NEVER want us hurting or judging one another based off of life choices.
If that makes me a "Pick and Choose" Christian... than so be it.
If it is still an issue whether to go back to church or not (even if you are a "Pick and Choose" Christian), maybe you should try a different church. You wouldn't be judged for past decisions (you shouldn't be anyway, but people judge whether they want to admit it or not) and you could start anew. :) Good luck!
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